Prioritizing Self-Care Over Productivity

Hello there blog,

How’s it going?

I’m sorry I’ve been MIA from you all. I’ve been thinking about writing every day but have needed the break. I feel like my creativity and energy needed a little boost.

These past few months I’ve been ridiculously happier. Probably the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ve been surrounded by great people and close friends, working on projects that I’m passionate about, and seeking out new adventures and experiences way out of my comfort zone.

I’ve traveled to new countries by myself, navigated through airports and spaces that didn’t speak English and made my way home, went out of my way to make new friends when I didn’t know a single person in a room, and have worked on having more personal conversations with the people in my life-even if it feels scary.

With all the wonderful things that have been happening in my life lately, I’ve forgotten to keep track of my mental health and make sure I’m taking care of myself. I’ve been under the impression that I’ve been so happy that I don’t need to follow my usual self-care rituals.

But I realize that I still need to make sure that I’m prioritizing self-care.

On a blog where I write about self-care and self-love and mental health frequently, it would seem hypocritical and insincere if I didn’t take a break from this blog to figure out how I’ve been feeling, to relax.

Our culture, that exists under capitalism and favors productivity, caffeine consumption, and constant engagement in projects and activities, doesn’t value relaxation, slowing down, and taking care of ourselves.

Doing things for personal pleasure and not for some sort of end goal oftentimes is seen as being self-indulgent

I love writing. I love this blog. I love running outdoors on sunny days. Why should I have to feel bad for doing these things?

I don’t this blog to turn into something on my to-do list rather than something I genuinely love to do.

Maybe this post is rambly. Maybe it doesn’t make a lot of sense. But my point is, self-care shouldn’t feel self-indulgent. It’s important to not get so wrapped up in the things you feel like you should be doing over the things you want to be doing.

You’re allowed to stop, slow down, relax, and do something you love for a little bit. That’s what I’m trying to do anyways.

It’s a work in progress. Here’s to setting aside some more time for me.

All the best,

Christina

International Women’s Day: What is it and Why We Still Need it

Happy International Women’s Day!

Let’s talk about the importance of this day.

Although it is 2016, we are still far away from gender equality considering the widening gender wage gap, prevalence of gender-based violence, cultural expectations that women should are responsible for childcare and housework, and objectification of women in the media—we can conclude that modern day sexism is alive and thriving.

Which makes a day to emphasize the struggles women face necessary.

International Women’s Day—which has been observed since the 1990s— is not only a means to shed light on these issues, but also a call to action to create change.

One of the main calls for action on this day is closing the pay gap. Despite the passage of legislation in Britain like the Equal Pay Act in 1970 to resolve the fact that women were paid 50% less than men—such issues haven’t been resolved. The primary focus of International Women’s Day 2016 is the wage gap because women still make 20% less than men—and that’s a problem.

Furthermore, the wage gap also has economic consequences. According to The World Economic Forum,“Ten years of measuring the global gender gap has helped us understand how lack of progress is damaging to global economic growth, and given us insights into how practical measures can support growth and improve the quality of life for women worldwide.”

From this, we can conclude that striving for gender equality has political, personal, and personal benefits that each country should work towards. Unfortunately, we are still a century if not longer away from closing this disparity.

The World Economic Forum estimates that closing the gap will take until 2133—or longer.

What?

And did you know that according to a report by the American Association of University Women, women working full time in the United States in 2014 were typically paid just 79 percent of what men were paid, a gap of 21 percent?

See why we need International Women’s Day?

Which is why this year—in order to start a dialogue on these issues and spread the word worldwide—IWD is pushing for supporters to use the hashtag #pledgeforparity.

This hashtag and the act of pledging will be used as a way to hold men, women, and companies accountable for creating concrete plans to close this gap—awareness is key. We also need work on breaking down cultural attitudes about gender, and equality.

We don’t just need to enforce policy and legislation, we need to also look at underlying social attitudes we might still implicitly hold about women.

IWD also provides space to consider often avoided questions like: why is it that women comprise 48 percent of the U.S. workforce but just 24 percent of workers in STEM fields?

Or what can we do about the fact that more than a third of all women worldwide – 35.6% – will experience physical or sexual violence in their lifetime, usually from a male partner?

Clearly, we’re far from equality and there’s still much work to do to.

That’s why we need to have these conversations. That’s why we need to take collective action.

The value of IWD is that it facilitates community-based feminist action that brings women together to fight for radical change.

Want to take some action? Click here! Want to attend some cool events today? Find some near youhere. If you’re an IC student, find out how you can get involved with our #IWDatIC social media campaign here!

Have a great day! Go dismantle some patriarchy for me!

Christina

What Impact Has Harry Potter Had On Your Life?

Back in 2007, there was a trend of videos on YouTube called “What Impact Has Harry Potter Had on Your Life” that inspired responses from many others whose lives had been changed drastically by those seven books about a boy wizard.

You might be wondering what this has to do with activism, or feminism, self-love, any of the other topics I normally write about—but stick with me, I have a point.

Last weekend a close friend of mine and I went to the Warner Bros Harry Potter Studio Tour. It was amazing. It was—magical. Totally worth all the money I dropped on wands and notebooks in the gift shop.

Harry Potter meant a lot to 4th grader me. 4th grader me who felt like weirdo kid who had trouble making new friends, who didn’t know what to do with her messy hair, who hated her body—even back then. So I really related to Harry Potter, who also didn’t seem to fit in at school before he rescued by his Hogwarts letter. Harry Potter taught me that there could be a better world out there if you look for it.

Although the world I found in activism isn’t a magical in the sense that there’s spells and wands (well, you bet I own a Hermione Granger wand) but it’s magical in a different way in the sense that I’ve found a little family within the social justice community.

But back when I was 10, 12, 15, etc. I needed the magical world of Harry Potter. Harry Potter was introduced to me by my childhood best friend. It connected me to a YouTube community like Five Awesome Girls and Vlogbrothers which helped me survive my middle school years. Watching cool people doing charity work and talking about books online shaped who I wanted to become as an adult. I wouldn’t be who I am at twenty without Harry Potter—that is not an exaggeration.

I went to book releases, movie premieres, and sought out bookstores with Harry Potter merchandise. The series made me feel proud to be a nerdy little kid who likes books and being good at school. Watching Hermione Granger—a main female character that doesn’t fall into a trope meant a lot to me. Her big, bushy hair, lack of hatred for her body, and the fact that her entire existence wasn’t devoted to looking for a boyfriend refuted all the other messages I was getting from problematic media.

Also the fact that JK Rowling belongs to an exclusive club of successful female authors whose work is known for something “other category” I’ve wanted to become a writer ever since.

I disconnected with the HP fandom when I was sixteen and the person who bought me my first three books in the series stopped being part of my life under very sad circumstances. The Harry Potter world brought me pain after that—I wish it didn’t, but it did.

With time, I got back into it. I re-watched all the movies when I was happy and when I was sad. I listened to the books on tape whenever I couldn’t sleep.

That’s why doing on the WB tour and exploring places in Oxford and exploring places where the movies were filmed was so important to me.

That’s why I’m also grateful for the current community that I’ve found now within the activist community. I think there’s a reason why a lot of YouTubers I used to watch that make videos about Harry Potter now make videos about feminism and social justice initiatives. We were all looking for a magical, better world back then to escape from the hard parts with HP—and now we’re trying to create a magical, more welcoming world.

*I thought I’d kick of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week with a light post about Harry Potter and social justice but be on the look out for more posts this coming week!

Thanks for everything HP.

Christina

Setting Aside Some Time for Yourself

This was originally posted on TheIthacan.org on 2/16/2016.

Given that the past couple of days seemed to be all about Galentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day and generally focusing on relationships, I think it’s time that we put aside some time to focus on ourselves today.

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This time of year can be difficult for a lot of people because of the heavily commercialized, heteronormative, couple-dominated holiday that is Valentine’s Day which excludes a great deal of people who don’t fit extremely narrow societal expectations.

That being said, I do appreciate the idea of stopping to think about the loved ones in our lives, appreciating them, and spending time with those we care about.

I just wish it didn’t have to be a specific day. I just wish it didn’t have to be a holiday that teaches young girls to feel bad about themselves if no one gives them chocolate and flowers.

I’ve spent many Valentine’s Days with close friends—ordering food, watching Netflix, at little gatherings, and one time my friend and I bought a heart-shaped pizza. Taking the time to celebrate and appreciate these relationships and connections is worthwhile—but it can leave you tired at the end of the day and in need of some personal time at the end of the day.

This Valentine’s Day I spent half the day running on four hours of sleep and the other half sleeping. I don’t regret spending my Saturday in full Galentine’s Day swing with games, spaghetti, pink wine, and Harry Potter that continued late into the night—but I was very tired the next day and in need of recharge.

So the next day, I made it my mission to set aside a day for just me—not romantic partners, not friends. Back in 2014, I was really stressed out all the time, I worked a job that required me to take care of other people and respond to problems constantly. I had no time for myself or to take care of myself.

I had to consciously carve out space and time for that. For about six months, I had little “self-care Sundays” which meant that every Sunday I would leave my college campus, stay in my bed, eat a lot of food, or exercise—whatever my mental health and body needed at the time.

That tradition ended when I stopped living alone and I had less physical space to spend the day taking care of myself.

Although I don’t miss the constant stress I felt back then, I do miss that time I used to always set aside just for me.

Which is why the day after Valentine’s Day I bought myself a red rose, a chocolate vegan cupcake, and let myself relax. I spent the rest of the day taking a break, doing a facial, and getting plenty of sleep.

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Yes, you should set aside time to appreciate those you love but you should also set aside time to appreciate and take care of yourself. Doing so will allow you to cultivate better relationships with others.

Here’s to more self-care,

Christina

Healthy, Unconditional Love

I write a lot about relationships on this blog—but I mostly focus on what to look for, spotting negative behaviors, and expectations you should have. I don’t often talk about specific positive ones.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I thought I’d highlight a particular example of positive love that I have in my life.

My parents visited me abroad this week for the first and only time this semester. They left yesterday. I almost never cry. I especially never cry in front of other people—ever. But yesterday I cried in a public tube station and then again in front of my roommates.

So that happened.

My parents are the most important people in my life. I’m lucky to have them as a support system, to be able to call them when I’m in trouble—even if it means they’ll be disappointed—to be able to call them, no matter what, with anything.

It’s hard for me to think about the fact that I won’t see them for over three months now.

But being that sad when they left means that the relationship is strong, that I love them a whole lot. Healthy, unconditional love like that means that you can be mad at them in one moment—and still know that you would never not want them around.

Sadly, not everyone can find this type of love in their familial relationships, so be grateful if you can. Tell those people you love them, even when they’re making you mad, and especially when you don’t feel like it.

I’m going to keep this post short and cheesy to give you space to think about similar relationships you might have in your own life. Take some space—amidst this time of year that especially glorifies romantic love—and think about the people who truly matter to you the most. Tell those people you love them.

All the best,

Christina

Thoughts From (Feminist) Places: The Wonderful Women of Whitechapel Walking Tour

A few days ago, I walked for hours around a part of London I’d never explored before with my Women in Britain class to learn about influential women and their contributions to modern day society—all of women I’d never even heard of before.

The tour gathered outside the Whitechapel tube station in East London. This was an important starting point given the fact that East End of London used to be the home to majority poor immigrants who were unwelcome and place in the same area as all the industry, factories, and pollution. Back then, nobody went out of their way to go to the East End like we did and nobody walked around during their leisure time. In fact, when I looked around at the sights, the shopping centers, skyscrapers, our tour guide told us that the air used to be so contaminated with dirt and ash that you wouldn’t have even been able to see the buildings in distance.

The people of Whitechapel were literally separated from everyone else.

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It gave me an interesting look at the intersection of class, gender, and economic opportunity. These people—who were primarily poor immigrants—worked in poor condition in a toxic environment to produce the products and industry that benefited upper-class people.

Similar to what I noticed at the Imperial War Museum exhibit I wrote about last time, the working class women bore the brunt of the hard work in order to survive and keep the resting of London functioning.

From there, we went on to learn about the impact that women had on the lives of others around East London—something I’ve never had a chance to learn about before. Despite the impact that these women had on contemporary society, nursing, and education, they have been excluded from mainstream history lessons. For example, Princess (and later Queen) of Wales, Alexandra supported the nursing profession and set up labs to work on cures for diseases.

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I hope that one day women’s accomplishments, history, and impact won’t be sectioned off as a “specialty” or “other” category that’s separate from the history we learn about in the classroom. I wish I didn’t have seek out these history lessons on my own through the internet and through taking specific gender studies classes. There shouldn’t be just “women’s history” or “women’s studies,” but the accomplishments should just be acknowledged and not overlooked.

I shouldn’t have to go out of my way to learn about these women and their contributions to mainstream society—they should be included in what we learn about history. If we learn about influential women—past and present—in institutional spaces like the classroom, it will reinforce the idea the accomplishments of women made a difference in our world and they shouldn’t be taken for granted.

For example, one woman in particular that stood out to me was Eva Luckes. Luckes was a matron at London Hospital for thirty-nine years and she made many improvements to the nursing profession and in hospitals in general. In fact, she was so dedicated to her work that she even died at her desk during a shift. Despite being the youngest one there and having to prove herself, she left a strong legacy at the hospital. For example, she came up with the idea of giving sick children spaces to keep their things to make the hospital feel a little bit more like home.

As we kept walking through the streets of London, I saw the places these women once worked at, the charities they started, the community centers they ran, the pubs they went to, and apartment complexes that were targeted during World War II.

I saw the places that facilitated their accomplishments and wished that I could have learned more. As a woman, it’s encouraging to see what young women have done to make their communities and workplaces better.

I also liked how the tour guide highlighted the ways in which the majority of these women worked together and worked for others. Furthermore, many of them looked out for those who lived more on the margins than them, those who were poorer and less privileged.

This should be the aim of contemporary feminism—to consider those who have less social power.

Thoughts From (Feminist) Places: The Imperial War Museum’s “A Women’s War” Exhibit

Have ya’ll seen watched John and Hank Green’s YouTube channel called Vlogbrothers? It’s been a favourite (look at me using British spelling) of mine since I was in middle school and John Green only had one book out. One of my favourite parts of the channel was the Thoughts from Places series. Just like it sounds, John or Hank would go somewhere and then share what they noticed and learned.

In an effort to combine by love of exploring and learning things, I’m going to be doing the same thing while I’m abroad—but with a feminist twist (the internet loves the feminist take on things, right?)

The Imperial War Museum’s exhibit featuring Lee Miller’s photography based in London, UK, highlighted the experience of World War II from the eyes of women. It’s been interesting to learn about World War II in the UK and in a space where the war actually took place. The war happened in the backyards of the people of London—this exhibit showcased the damage, and the impact it had on women’s lives.

When it comes to war, we oftentimes focus on the men who fight and forget about the women who did the dirty work back home or who fought themselves. We forget the working-class women who worked round the clock in dangerous conditions.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to take pictures, but the exhibit also depicted class differences and showed how the war greatly impacted working-class women over upper-class women. For example, one image showed two women posing in hats. Hats were eventually taxed to save materials for the war effort, so only certain women could afford them. These images were positioned next to women working in factories manufacturing weapons for the war. Other images so trauma, destroyed homes, and damage from working in unsafe conditions. It effectively captured the complexity of the time and the varying impact it had on different kinds of women.

The exhibit also exemplified the ways in which women’s social roles were changing because of the war. They transitioned from being unable to work outside the home to making up the majority of workforce. The war facilitated more interactions between men and women that weren’t as socially accepted before. It changed norms in a sense.

At the same time, I noticed that some gender norms were still reinforced and the way these women were portrayed in the display both challenged and conformed to them. What I mean is, women were still responsible for taking on the housework and familiar responsibilities (in addition to working). Most of their work was also more of the grunt work for the war which they weren’t always given credit for—which is why I appreciate that this exhibit highlighted that experience. Women were put in action roles, operating radios, serving as nurses, caring for children, and standing among damage. They were both impacted by and strong participants in the war—they weren’t side characters.

The display also worked against the male gaze because it was done by women and showcased only women. The photographs enabled the public to see the war from the eyes of women—literally. Some of the photos wouldn’t have been taken otherwise. We were able to see the women’s washroom and other intimate moments of these women’s lives that we couldn’t have seen otherwise.

I also appreciated the way female sexuality was embraced and captured. Several images depicted women as sexual beings in a way that wasn’t objectifying, but a protest of the constraints on women at the time. The fact that naked women were shown also showed changing social perceptions about women. In one image, a woman named Lee Miller depicted herself half-naked with her arms pinned up behind her, representing the way in which women are pinned down by both war, their sexuality, and the surrounding culture.

This exhibit captured women’s experience and role in World War II in a unique, dynamic way that I strongly recommend. I can’t wait to discover more spaces that highlights the voices and lives of women throughout London and beyond.

The Value of Not Knowing Anything

Hello beautiful people. I’m back and writing to you on a couch in my new apartment…in London. Did I say I was moving to London for a little bit to study abroad? Well, I moved to London for a couple months to study abroad.

Here’s a pretty picture to make up for my absence:

London

Although my transition to this big city where I never know which side of the street to walk on hasn’t been as difficult as I thought it would be, I’ve been away the activist community I’ve been a part of at home and I haven’t been participating in the same events or in the same spaces that always gave me ideas and content.

Even though I am unbelievably lucky to do so—moving here, leaving behind my friends, family, and comfort, without a place to live, was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. There were many times when I thought I wouldn’t even go. I had projects and communities I didn’t want to leave behind.

I’m working to build that community here and I’m starting to feel more at home. Every now and again, it’s good to switch things up, start new projects, and join new organizations. I’m excited for this even though it’s nerve wracking.

This semester I’ll be working in local politics which is entirely different to the non-profit and organizing world that I’m used to.

In my last post, I told myself that the theme of 2016 was to be unapologetic—I’m sticking to that and that theme is carrying over into my study abroad experience. In my last post, I wrote that I’m going to demand more from the people and relationships in my life, but I’m also going to demand more from myself.

I want to put myself outside of where I feel comfortable, to be in spaces where I feel out of place so then I have to work harder to figure out how to fit there.

This has caused me to have to have to watch, learn, and pay attention. For example, at my political internship, I know almost nothing about British politics or working in local government. So I have to watch people, see what they’re saying and doing, and look things up.

This is relatively new for me. I’m used to doing hands on work and completing self-directed projects. Now I’m shadowing people and watching what they do. I like getting a different perspective, it’s helping me slow down, not take on a million things at once, and ask questions.

There’s definitely value in learning from other people and not placing pressure on yourself to feel like you have to know everything already.

For those of you back home starting a new semester this week, I urge you to set some goals like this for yourself. Put yourself in a space where know nothing. That way, you have to learn something new.

It’s refreshing. Much of activism is community-based and requires collaboration and learning from one another. So this learning is valuable.

I really appreciate these lessons I’m getting while I’m away from my activist community back home in the states.

On a similar note, I’m currently working on a semi-secret new project. Once again, I don’t know anything. Still, I’m weirdly enjoying figuring it out, messing up, taking breaks, and trying again. I’m also not entirely on my own. I have a mentors who I talk things out with and turn to for guidance.

I like not knowing anything, being out of my comfort zone, having to sit down and figure it out, and learn from others.

It’s not real, rewarding work if you don’t have to put in some effort.

Well, before I get to rambley and like an annoying motivational speaker, I think I’ll end this here.

Go learn some new things,

Christina

Some Thoughts on 2015, Ready for 2016

I started this blog on the very first day of 2015—and 2015 has been quite a year. In a semi-cliché way, it has been my best year so far—not because it was perfect or because all the things I planned on happening happened or because I didn’t fail at all the lofty resolutions I made—but because things were messy at times, because unplanned, unexpected moments happened, because I dropped my lofty resolutions in pursuit of tangible goals—moving away from aspirations to change myself and towards accepting myself.

One year ago today, I sat in a Subway in upstate New York when all the tables at a nearby Starbucks was full, typed out some thoughts, hit the backspace button, typed out more thoughts, hit the backspace button again, and repeated this for about an hour.

For women—or anyone whose identity marginalizes them—it can be challenging to allow yourself to take up space, to have valid thoughts and opinions, and to feel as if these thoughts and opinions are worth openly expressing. For a while, before I would start writing a post, I would have to shut down internal thoughts that what I’m saying doesn’t matter, that it’s unnecessary. Even though these thoughts still crop up every now and again, blogging has really helped me turn them off.

In 2016, I’m urging any of you out there with an idea for a project that you’re too afraid to start because you think it’s not important—go ahead and do it anyways. You don’t know what will come of it until you give it a shot.

I had no idea what was going to come out of that first post—a stipend to complete an internship with a progressive media outlet in Washington, D.C., which led to a summer position blogging for Young People For as their Civic Engagement Intern, starting their blog team, and joining their fellowship class. Through blogging and Young People For, I’ve been connected to a wonderful and supportive community of activists that I can lean on whenever I need a friend.

In 2016, don’t just set goals trying to fix things about yourself, create something. Do something with your hands, think critically, and use your body meaningfully instead of focus on the way it looks, its flaws, and what can be done to change it. Treat your body like a tool that can help you accomplish things.

On that note, in 2015 I made great strides towards loving my body and developing a sense of body positivity—something I’ve really struggled with in the past. I’m not saying that all is perfect now and that there aren’t still billion dollar media, fashion, and beauty industries in place propagating the idea that I should hate myself, but I’ve realized that self-love is critical and revolutionary and helps shut these industries down.

When I sat in that Subway to write my first post, I listened to two teenagers nearby talk about how much they hate their stomachs. It was what motivated me to stop backspacing and keep typing because we need to keep having these conversations, we need to be thinking about what still needs to change.

If I think back to my 13, 14, 15, or even 19-year-old self, I realize that I used to be (and at times still am) like those teenage girls at Subway. When degrading your body and degrading yourself for eating food is considered normal, it can be difficult to realize why we do these things and to even notice when you’re doing them.

In 2015, I started running in the daylight. I used to always run only in the dark because I didn’t want the people I passed to see my body, to see me sweating and breathing heavily—because that doesn’t happen naturally when we run, does it? It wasn’t until I lived in Washington, DC and was faced with the choice of giving up doing something I loved or running during the day in front of people that I finally stopped caring so much. Running became a tool for me to connect with my body, to use it for something, to learn how to like it.

I also started running in a sports bra. This may seem insignificant but it matters to the part of me that used to wear t-shirts on the beach and struggle in the dining hall every day over whether or not to eat fries or salad with no dressing. Exposing my stomach, unapologetically, amidst all these messages that my body is ugly and that I should change it, is a big deal.

In 2016, if learning how to love your body is too difficult, work on finding other ways to connect with your body. It doesn’t have to be anything physical like running, it can be painting, writing, going outside, or having fulfilling conversations. Find what works for you.

Another one of my favorite parts of 2015 was my internship in the Education Department at The Advocacy Center, a local sexual assault resource center, where I created resources for student activists and helped facilitate programs on healthy relationships and bystander intervention. Working there helped me recover from a bad part of my own life and taught me what I deserve in relationships and what steps we can take as a community to eradicate gender-based violence.

In 2016, don’t be afraid to demand more from the people in your life and set higher standards for how you deserve to be treated.

The theme for my 2016 is to be unapologetic. To let myself take up space and be unapologetic when it comes to the food I eat, clothes I wear, the skin I choose to show, the expectations I have for my relationships, and speaking my mind. To keep writing, learning, and thinking critically. To read more books and spend less time scrolling aimlessly through social media. To demand more from the people in my life, but to also learn how to forgive and heal and move on from hurt. To create more content, more blog posts, to express my thoughts unapologetically.

I think I’ll end my first post of 2016 there. Thanks for supporting and reading. I’m looking forward to what’s coming this year. Following my own first tip, I have a new project on the way in the coming months. I’ll keep it a surprise for now.

All the best,

Christina